構(gòu)思點(diǎn)撥

上圖表現(xiàn)的是在“尚方寶劍”嚴(yán)懲的威嚴(yán)下，一位從事商業(yè)賄賂的人落荒而逃。不言而喻，這幅圖反映的是當(dāng)今一種比較 猖獗的社會(huì)現(xiàn)象：商業(yè)賄賂。深層次來講，就是道德問題、責(zé)任問題。本文的內(nèi)容和結(jié)構(gòu)安排如下：

第一段：描述圖畫；第二段：從兩個(gè)角度分析影響+分析動(dòng)機(jī)；第三段：建議措施。

思維拓展

此類文章可以展開的角度有：金錢觀，商業(yè)道德建設(shè)、職業(yè)道德建設(shè)，公平競(jìng)爭(zhēng)。相似的圖片比比皆是。請(qǐng)參考下圖：

高分范文

There is no doubt that this cartoon vividly depicts a negative but rampant scenario in modern society: commercial bribery. Frightened by the sharp punishment sword, the man, carrying a large pile of money used as bribery①, is trying his best to escape. What is conveyed by the drawing is both realistic and thought-provoking。

The implication of the given picture can be elaborated in terms of the decline of work-moral values and the view on money. For one thing, commercial bribery has a very damaging and destructive②  effect on the whole society. Firstly, moral deficiencies as well as the humanity weakness revealed in the action of bribery③  may stain and pollute the atmosphere of professional ethics and cause others to copy. Secondly, fair competition may be threatened because bribery puts honest businessmen at a disadvantaged position. For another, the bad behavior of commercial bribery is largely driven by “profit”， showing that those people who are involved in bribery do not have a right view on money. It is true that money is indispensable④, but, there is no denying that money should be obtained and spent in a reasonable, wise and legitimate way。

To eliminate the immoral behavior of bribery thoroughly⑤, drastic actions should be taken and severe punishment measures should be adopted. Besides, a positive mental guidance on the right attitude to money should be popularized among the public. Only in this way can we have a fair and sound social environment。

佳作妙譯

毫無疑問這幅漫畫生動(dòng)地描述了現(xiàn)代社會(huì)一種負(fù)面的但是卻十分猖獗的現(xiàn)象：商業(yè)賄賂。由于懼怕嚴(yán)厲的懲罰，這個(gè)人背著一大堆賄 賂用的錢落荒而逃。漫畫的寓意是十分現(xiàn)實(shí)并發(fā)人深思的。

上圖的寓意可以理解為詳細(xì)闡述了在金錢沖擊下職業(yè)道德的淪陷。一方面，商業(yè)賄賂對(duì)全社會(huì)造成惡劣的、毀滅性的影響。首先在賄 賂行為中表現(xiàn)出的道德缺陷和人性弱點(diǎn)會(huì)破壞和污染職業(yè)道德的氛圍，不良分子也會(huì)效仿。其次，行賄者將破壞公平競(jìng)爭(zhēng)，誠信經(jīng)營的商人被置于不利地位。 另一方面，商業(yè)賄賂行為大多是被利益驅(qū)動(dòng)的，這說明這些人對(duì)金錢沒有正確的態(tài)度。沒有金錢的確是萬萬不能的，但對(duì)待金錢，無疑需要取之有道，用之有 度。

為了徹底根除賄賂這種道德敗壞的行為，應(yīng)該采取嚴(yán)厲的懲罰措施。另外，應(yīng)該在公眾中逐漸普及正確的金錢觀。只有這樣，我們才 能擁有公平、健全的社會(huì)環(huán)境。

名師點(diǎn)評(píng)

① money used as bribery: 過去分詞作定語=定語從句。

寫過去分詞做定語的步驟：

第一步：寫成定語從句：money which is used as bribery；

第二步：省略引導(dǎo)詞“which”和be動(dòng)詞“is”變成money used as bribery。

這樣，一個(gè)定語從句就變成了過去分詞做定語。

② damaging and destructive: 近義詞疊用，押韻：頭韻

③ revealed in the action of bribery: 過去分詞作定語，修飾前面的moral deficiencies as well as the humanity weakness ，寫法參考本文點(diǎn)評(píng)第① 條。

④ It is true that money is indispensable: It作形式主語，真正的主語是that從句。

⑤ To eliminate the immoral behavior of…: 為了……。作目的狀語。