In this picture, we can see tow ②disable people abandon thire ③wood legs and support by④ each other go further. They help themselves!
From the drawing, we can learn that coorporation ⑤has a significance ⑥to the people who has not perfect body. You have a leg, I have a leg, you and me get together that we can go everywhere we wanted⑦。
Furthermore it is ⑧also can bring benifit ⑨to normal person. There are old words that if put there fool man together they can beat a extremly wisdom man ⑩. For example,there are tou 11small firms, they have little power independently, but if they make a coorporation12,there will be a good consequnce13,a big company will form and have 14a 15greater influence. Thus both of them are win16.
Above all, we can see that coorporation 17is not18 only good and help ourselves19,but also our partener can get a lot of profit either20.It is a while worth thing ,we should persist to do and help ohers21 and ourselves all the time,then we will all win。
此篇文章批改如下:
① 通常大作文不用寫題目。你可以想表達的意思是“雙贏”,慣常的表達應該是win-win。
② 拼寫錯誤,正確的應該為two
③ 拼寫錯誤,正確的應該為their
④ 要么是supported by each other或者是support each other
⑤ 拼寫錯誤,正確的應該為cooperation
⑥ 語法錯誤,改為:is significant或者if of significance
⑦ 這是直接翻譯漫畫中的字幕,應當安排在第一自然段中。
⑧ is應該刪除
⑨ 拼寫錯誤,正確的應該為benefit
⑩ 明顯的中式英文,讀起來不順。改為:If put together, fool men can beat the wisdoms。
11 拼寫錯誤,正確的應該為two
12 “合作”直接用cooperate就可以了
13 拼寫錯誤,正確的應該為consequence
14 應使用單數has
15 influence是不可數名字,不加a
16 改為:win 或者are winners
17 同批注⑤
18 Not
19 helping ourselves,因為not only前面是is,所以后面不能跟動詞原形
20 句子有語病。本句賓語從句的主語是cooperation,所以后面應該圍繞cooperation來說,但你but also后面又換了主語our partners。后半句改為but also can make our partners get a lot of profit too。